


You Taste Like Danger

by ProtoGay



Series: Homegirl [1]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22540990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoGay/pseuds/ProtoGay
Summary: Athena has a lot of things to work through, but to do that she needs to let Janey help her.Title and series name come from the King Princess song "Homegirl"
Relationships: Athena/Janey Springs
Series: Homegirl [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621879
Kudos: 13





	You Taste Like Danger

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a way to practice second person and somehow became ~2500 words worth of PAIN.
> 
> If you like this, think about following me on my personal or borderlands tumblr!
> 
> protogay.tumblr.com  
> athenassprings.tumblr.com

You’ve killed her hundreds of times before.

You’ve killed her with your bare hands, with the atlas, with xiphos. 

You’ve killed her by your own hand and by inaction. 

You’ve put your all into destroying her and smiled while someone else ended her. 

You’ve woken up almost every time with her arms around you, brown eyes staring into yours, saying words you refused to hear. 

There used to be nights where you would wake up alone stranded on Elpis in a worn out bedroll. Your screams were always loud enough to wake the kragons. You can barely remember those nights. You wake up again, struggling to free yourself from the arms that hold you down while you watch her body taken away again. There’s a piercing scream that rattles your skull. It’s your screaming. You can hear words trying to calm you, rough hands on your shoulders, your face, all over you. You run, ripping the hands from your body. You run farther than you have in years, away from everything. 

You have to save her.

You wake up. 

Your entire body hurts. Your bare feet are searing with pain, your hands are bruised, your head is throbbing, everything hurts. You’re alone, in the middle of nowhere with nothing but old pajamas. You have no weapons, no armor, and no Janey. You don’t deserve her, and she deserves better than you. A miserable mercenary that kills everyone she loves. She’s kind in ways that you could never be, takes care of everyone she can, and loves you despite everything. And you’ve failed her again.

You know you should go back, that she can’t make enough money on her own. She needs you and you need her. You drag your feet, slowly moving towards the town in the distance. You need to learn where you are. The people in the town see you and run. You aren’t surprised. You knock on the door of the largest building. 

“Leave us alone! There’s nothing left for you!” A small voice yells from the tin door. 

You turn around, and a fist connects with your face, knocking you to the ground. There’s a bandit with a black eye standing above you, he looks to be right on the edge of going psycho. He grabs you by the neck of your shirt 

”Don’t you think you fucked up our town enough already!? You killed half of my boys and

think you can walk back in here? I’ll fucking kill you, you red eyed bit-”

You grab him by the throat and throw him to the ground next you. The rage comes easy as you pin him beneath yourself. 

“Tell me where I am, and I might let you go.”

The anger in your voice sounds familiar, yet makes you sick to your stomach. He begins to talk, his voice strained from his trapped throat. 

“You’re telling me you don’t know where you are? You psycho bitch! You kill my boys, and now you think I’m going to help you?”

You tighten your grip on his neck and pick him up off the ground. The bandits of Pandora never cease to disappoint you. You throw him against the wall, and pick up the small pistol that falls from his waistband. You’re gone before he can catch his breath, not like he could stop you anyways. 

You can’t decide if you love or hate your modifications. They remind you of the pain and torture that Atlas put you through, and the pain you put others through. But they have their perks. You don’t need to eat, drink, or sleep for extended periods of time, which is great in all parts of life. It’s easier to budget your home life, you only really need enough money to feed Janey since you won’t die from weeks without food or water; you wish you could die. Thinking of this, you realize that you could have been on a rampage for days; you’ve already been walking home for two. You know you don’t deserve her, but you need her. You want her.

It’s day three, and you feel disgusting. Your clothes are covered in the sand and dirt you’ve been walking on. Your hair is a mess without your hood to protect it. The sun starts to set again, and through the darkness you can just make out a cave with lights. Through the darkness, you can just make out your home. You wait outside of Hollow Point until almost every light is turned off. All that is left are the spotlights outside of the entrance. It’s not hard to sneak by the guards they’re young and untrained, and you’ve done this for as long as you can remember. 

As you step past the spotlights your eyes adjust, vision so bright you’d think it was day. Out of habit, you scan the various boards across town to see if there are any jobs to take. You stop in your tracks. Your image is on the board, but there’s no bounty on your head. “Please help me find her” the poster says, “$1000 reward.” You look so happy in the picture, no doubt it was taken by Janey. There’s no hood to be seen on your head, your hair is framing your face, you’re even smiling softly. You miss Janey, and know that she needs you. 

You walk quietly to your home, and climb into the hidden entrance you’d made in the back. You could never let go of the fear that you’d need it someday. When you open the door, you can hear sniffling coming from your small bedroom. “‘Thena?” You hear Janey’s voice call out. She sounds small and weak, unlike anything you’ve ever heard from her. You want to run, you can’t stand the thought of facing her. You know that you’ve hurt her, but leaving will just hurt her even more. You feel trapped, like your feet are frozen to the ground. If you’d just run, there’d be no chance that you hurt her. Your feet move on their own accord towards the door, you won’t hurt her again, whatever it takes. Before you can leave, you hear footsteps running towards you. Warm arms wrap around you, and you can hear Janey crying as her head rests atop yours. 

“Janey I’m so sor-“ she cuts you off before you can even begin.

Her lips are rough against yours. 

“Athena you fucking asshole! I was so worried, I didn’t know what to think after the fifth day, I thought you had just left me…” 

You stare at her unable to say anything to soothe her. So you say the first thing that comes to mind, 

“Don’t you think a $1000 reward is more than we can afford?”

You hate yourself for your inability to communicate. If you could just tell her why you have these dreams. Tell her how much you love her, how much you need her. You fail every time and she always comes back, tells you that everything will be ok. And she’s kissing you again, softly as if she’s waiting for you to run again. You miss her so much. You know you need to say it, but you’re scared to. Scared to commit to anything for fear of losing her. You say it anyway. 

“Listen Janey I love you, it’s just that I-“

She’s kissing you again, soft and slow. 

“I love you too ‘Thena, but,” You wait for the hate, anger, bitterness, anything. “I want you to get help. I need to know when something scares you, I can’t get by on guessing, sweet.”

She’s never hated you. You know she can’t, and you chastise yourself for doubting her. You know your words won’t work right now, so you tilt up to kiss her. You’re stopped by a slim finger on your lips, stained by years of oil. 

“As much as I do love you Athena, I do think I’d love you a liiitle more if you were showered.”

The feeling of blood rushing to your cheeks takes you by surprise. You forgot how filthy you were. While your modifications kept you from going hungry, they don’t keep you from looking like shit after being in the desert for a week. 

“Let’s get you into the shower then, shall we?”

You manage a small nod as she pulls you towards the bathroom. Your hand fits so perfectly in hers, her long fingers intertwined with yours. Everything about her is perfect to you. 

She sits you down onto the toilet seat, and kisses your cheek. “You’ve got to tell me if something’s wrong, starting now ok?” You nod again. 

Janey moves over to start the water in the shower. You expect her to leave when it’s running. She doesn’t, but instead she crouches down in front of you. Her rough hands begin to pull up the bottom of your sleep shirt, revealing yellowing bruises that you didn’t even know you had. 

“‘Thena…” Janey whispers to you. 

“I know.” Is all that you can respond. 

She picks your hands up and examines the bruises there as well. You expect her to say something, to chastise you for your dirty hair and bruised hands, the evidence that you’ve hurt someone. She doesn’t. Instead she holds them up gently and kisses the fading marks. 

You stroke her cheek with your thumb while she kisses your hands. This is what you want, for affection to come easy. It’s worth it when she smiles up at you. 

She moves down to your pants, and removes them. Janey strips quickly, you notice that she hasn’t changed clothes for a while either. Again she takes your hands and pulls you up, leading you to the shower. 

She takes her time with you, washing you thoroughly. Her hands are gentle, yet firm, on your back, just enough to massage the pain away. You’re so used to your brisk Atlas showers, just enough to get clean and no time for relaxation. 

The shower is cut off, and Janey leads you out of the shower. You barely noticed that she’d washed herself with how relaxed you’d become. She grabs a towel and slowly dries you off, her hands gentle over the worst of the bruises. As she begins to dry herself, you get another towel and do your best to help, despite the aching in your arms.

You walk into your bedroom, and sit on the edge of the bed as Janey grabs new pajamas for you. She comes back dressed in a faded shirt and an old pair of boxers, in her hand is one of her old t-shirts that’s much too large for you. You take the clothes and dress quickly, trying to think of what you should say.

“So Athena, what have you been up to the past week?” It’s hard for you to read her expression. “I’ve been doing a lot of work, putting up posters, worrying about the love of my life, so not much really.”

“Janey…” You wish you could say more. How do you fix almost a whole week’s worth of damage? “I’m so sorry.”

“Well I’m sure you are, sweet, but this is the hundredth sorry since we’ve moved, with no explanation to  _ why _ you’re sorry. I can only do so much without knowing what’s going on, you know?”

You sit for a moment, eyes looking anywhere but Janey. You look at your bruised hands until they fill you with shame. At Janey’s feet in front of you until they fill you with guilt. When you do finally look at her, your eyes are brimming with tears. She crouches down until she’s level with you, her hands gently resting on your thighs.

“Take your time darling.” 

You’ll never get used to how wonderful she is to you. Her ability to be so gentle, even when you make mistakes. She deserves to know everything that’s happened to you, not just little details here and there. If she could open up so easily about her loss, then you can find a way too. So you do.

Before you can open your mouth, the tears start to fall. Janey gets onto the bed with you, and holds your head in her lap as you begin to sob. You start by explaining the dreams, how you fear that you’ll hurt her, why you felt the need to run this time. She rubs your back through your tears, wipes your face when you need it, but most importantly she listens. She listens how no one ever has, to the pain that you’ve held for years.

You cry until every tear that you’ve held in is gone, and exhausted in a way you’ve never felt. Even though you feel as though you’ve gone on for hours, you know you’ve barely scratched the surface of your problems. You take a deep breath and ready yourself to start another story, but Janey interrupts you.

“I’m so proud of you for opening up to me and I want to know everything, but I think we’re both too exhausted to talk about everything tonight. How about we try to sleep? ”

At the mention of sleep, you tense up. You fear that you’ll dream again, that you’ll hurt her. She must feel you tense, since she begins rubbing your back again. The tears that you thought were gone threaten to return, and your breaths come out shaky. You feel gentle fingers push the hair from your face and stroke your cheek.

“I know how it feels to be afraid of sleeping you know. After I lost Steph I was scared to sleep for so long, but eventually I had to. I know you don’t have to sleep as much as I do, but we need to sometime tonight. Let’s at least get under the covers, ok?”

You agree, and move to get under the sheets with her. Janey lies down facing away from you, but reaches for your arm to wrap around her. It doesn’t take long for her to start snoring softly. You try your best to relax, softly tracing the scars on her stomach until the tension leaves you. Eventually you allow the exhaustion to take over, pulling you into a deep sleep.

You wake up, and for the first time in forever you feel safe. Janey is still asleep in your arms, unharmed. It will take time to tell her everything that you’ve been though, but you know she’ll be there for you through it all.


End file.
